Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
