it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
