fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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