You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
