Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
