I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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