That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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