I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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