And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
