i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize