That's intense
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
