Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
