you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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