Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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