Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
