This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
