Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
