So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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