I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
