so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
