I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
