Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
