farters have to be the big spoon...
only if we run a train.
done.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
