so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
