Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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