I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
