I'm eating all of the evidence.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Did I show you my penis last night?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
