I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
