Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
