your parents love me but you hate me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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