I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
