I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
