they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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