everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i now understand why vodka
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize