redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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