I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
