Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
