I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
