you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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