I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize