So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize