Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
people are starting to question the shark bite story
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
