Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i love accidental penises.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
