hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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