Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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