I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
