I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
