Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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