The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
