I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
