i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
