I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
