Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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