I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sext me about skeletons
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
