i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
