I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
