I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
