i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
