We got so high we made milksteak
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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