Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm always down for nudity.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
