Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
