Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
