My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
As shirtless as possible
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
