I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
