what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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