i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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